Don’t Dull Your Edges: Build the Life Only You Can Live
The thing that got you teased or excluded growing up is often the exact thing that ends up setting you apart later. Dulling your edges to fit in might feel safer in the short term, but it tends to bury the part of you that would have set you free.
A kid, a hobby, and twenty years
We logged into Facebook for the first time in years, only to sell some furniture on Marketplace. The first post that appeared was a photo of a kid from school we hadn't thought about in two decades.
Back then, he was undeniably different. Obsessed with dinosaurs in a way that couldn't be ignored. Spend more than two minutes with him and you'd know his favourite fossil, Latin name included. He didn't care about being cool, and that came at a cost. He was teased, mocked, bullied for being too into something no one else cared about.
And there he was in the photo, bearded, confident, standing in the middle of a palaeontology dig site, celebrating a career milestone doing the exact thing he used to get bullied for. The thing that got him excluded is now the thing that sets him apart.
The danger of fitting in
So much time gets spent trying not to be weird, trying not to stand out. But that same weirdness, the thing that made you feel different, is probably the thing you're supposed to lean into. Dull your edges just to blend in, and you risk becoming invisible, unrecognisable even to yourself.
What feels like punishment when you first have the courage to stand out can become a superpower later, if you don't let it get beaten out of you first. The world doesn't need more people who are palatable. It needs more people who are real and unafraid to be themselves.
What this has to do with regret
Dwelling on regret is an easy way to end up sad, and dulling your edges to fit in is one of the most common things people end up regretting. The fix isn't complicated, even if it isn't easy: think about how to build an amazing life with the action you take now, rather than the version of yourself you quietly filed away years ago.
"Somewhere in the future, your older self is watching you through memories. Whether it's with regret or nostalgia depends on what you do now." That's worth sitting with for a moment.
A question for your journal
What would future you want you to do today? What's the version of yourself you've quietly dulled down to fit in, and what would it look like to let that back in, even slightly?
This kind of reflection sits squarely inside the Freedom pillar, the ability to shape a life that actually reflects who you are, rather than who felt safest to be. Stay strange. Stay sharp. The right people will find you, and when they do, they'll love you for exactly who you are.