We all rely on habits and systems to get through our daily lives. The average person is said to make about 35,000 decisions every single day, that would easily become VERY overwhelming if we didn’t have habits to put us into auto pilot. In fact, Gerald Zaltman, a Harvard Business School professor, suggests that 95% of our decisions occur in the subconscious mind.

That is why most of us from an early age have ingrained healthy habits that keep our lives in good order. For example, brushing your teeth every day is a simple and effective way to take care of yourself. A missed day here and there won’t automatically qualify for a new filling, but consistently neglecting teeth will certainly lead to negative outcomes for your health, self-confidence and eventually your dentist bill.

So, if you’ve missed brushing your teeth one night you’re unlikely to throw caution to the wind and abandon canine care altogether. In reality, you’re much more likely to do the opposite with a longer brush, as an apology to make up for your sins. Instead, you will launch into a morning assault, flossing and brushing until squeaky clean.

But why are other healthy habits so different when we fall off the horse?

The quitting smoker has one fag and sees it as an excuse for a 20 year relapse. One missed gym session turns into 5 as the habit fades into a distant memory.

Journaling, which is essentially a toothbrush for your mind can also fall into this category if we aren’t careful. Often people use a guided journal to help with all things productivity, gratitude and habit tracking. Sometimes holidays serve as a break from journaling as there is no productivity to be had, just pure relaxation (like me below on holiday in Vienna).

There’s no problem with this, apart from when you come back to reality and the journaling habit that once served you so well has fallen by the wayside.

This blog post is inspired by two conversations with friends. The first came after I enquired how she was getting on with her Evolve Journal, her reply intrigued me. She openly shared how consistent she'd been the first two months and had felt a lot of benefits. But, after returning from holiday, never picked it back up. Only a couple days later a different mate, who I know for a fact had been religiously gyming for months, explained how it had taken him 2 months to get back into the gym after a holiday. 

We wouldn’t have this approach with our teeth, and for good reason. So why do we do it with other healthy habits?

Not doing things we know we should, can eventually end up weighing heavy on us. Building up a sort of ambient anxiety that grows the longer we put off what we know deep down we should be doing. This might be a culmination of little lies to ourselves or just the sheer fact we feel we are moving further away from our idealised self.

Despite the feeling of knowing you should do it, there’s a kind of psychological difficulty there to pick things back up.

A disruption in routine can be all it takes to add a little friction to a habit that means it doesn’t get done. Don’t feel bad about this, it is just the way humans’ hard wiring and our habits work.

The running shoes get put away and out of mind. The journal makes its way from the top of the bedside table and into the drawer.

The good news though, you have agency over your decisions and knowledge like this can be the extra tricks and motivations to judo flip your outdated hardwiring and consciously adapt.

If you recognise you have a healthy habit, that serves you well, it makes sense to continue with it.

So if you’ve fallen off a healthy habit that used to serve you well recently and you’d like to form it again here’s some guidance below.

1. Habit stack.

Simply find a habit you already have and attach the habit to it. Supplements with your first glass of water during the day. Stretching whilst brushing your teeth. You get the drift.

2. Remove friction to encourage and add friction to discourage.

Want to watch less TV in the evenings so you have more time to focus on other things? Create friction by removing the remote’s batteries. Unplug the TV from the wall. You’ll be amazed at how easily this additional friction disrupts the muscle memory of switching on the TV. It turns the action from automated to considered. Of course, then the inverse is true: build your new habits, make them as easy as possible, and on the days when you are really time-poor, make sure you complete a minimum viable effort. The equivalent of 10 press-ups or 1 page read.

3. Add it to your calendar

If it's not in your calendar, it's not going to happen. Assign time in your calendar to carry out your healthy habit and stick to it. Treat it like a meeting, turn up and do what's expected. If you have a holiday coming up, assign time in your calendar for when you get back. If your habit is fitness related, book a class you enjoy or arrange to go on a run with a friend you wouldn't want to let down - accountability is key here. 

4. Reward yourself

Gamifying your life and adding incentives is a great way to gain extra motivation to carry out your healthy habits. Just make sure the rewards aren’t bad habits themselves. If you reward yourself with something naughty, it will often end in a net negative.

These actionable tips rely on your reflections and having the presence of mind to notice when you have slipped out of good habits. Regularly journaling and writing down your most important healthy daily habits is a very effective way to turn yourself into your own accountability partner. So next time you have a holiday and you want to slip back into your healthy routines, make a conscious effort to keep journaling and you will experience the powerful domino effect it will have.

This post goes deeper into the practical starting points behind each pillar. For the short, definitive version, see our main Four Pillars of Happiness page.

What makes us truly happy? This age-old question, once pondered by philosophers, continues to intrigue and challenge us today. Happiness, for many, is like a crisp packet in the wind, elusive. For others, it's a consistent byproduct of being. But why does happiness vary so much between persons and the periods in our lives? It boils down to the foundational elements of our lives, elements we often overlook or undervalue.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking - Marcus Aurelius

Decades of research on happiness and wellbeing point to the same handful of themes again and again, adjusted for culture, circumstance, and the countless other factors that make every life different. This post works through four of those recurring themes: health, wealth, relationships, and freedom.

Health

Why Start with Health?

Because without it you have nothing. Taken to the extreme, you're dead making your happiness irrelevant. Therefore, health is paramount. Just like an oxygen mask, sort this out first so you can help the other pillars of happiness.

Good health will have positive feedback in all areas of your life giving the energy, self-confidence and mental clarity to take your best version out into the world. Think of it as putting on your oxygen mask first; it's about ensuring you're equipped to help yourself before you can effectively help others or chase your dreams.

Where to Start with Health?

Exercise

Begin with regular physical activity. At least 5 times a week. Humans are not designed for sedentary lives. It's not your fault that much of modern life is sedentary. It is though, your responsibility to do something about it. So move. To make time to get your heart rate up. The reason to start with exercise is because it creates a domino effect.

Exercise more and you will sleep better. When presented with eating options you'll start to lean towards the healthier option so as not to waste your hard work. The exercise domino doesn't just stop with health. The discipline and relationships you will form will start to snowball in the right direction.

Just think of the fittest and healthiest person you know, there's a good chance that the other areas of their life will also be in good condition.

Sleep

Prioritise quality sleep. Establish a routine that allows for 7-9 hours of restful sleep each night. Too much emphasis is placed on a morning routine. While this is important, it's worthless without an evening routine. Maintaining discipline by reducing screentime and light exposure, and sticking to a consistent bedtime, can significantly improve your sleep quality. Everything else is much harder without consistent good sleep.

Hydration and Nutrition

Focus on whole foods and reduce intake of processed foods and sugars. Drink plenty of water. That coffee you're drinking as soon you awake is slowing you down.

Waiting 90 minutes after waking up enhances caffeine's effectiveness by allowing adenosine levels to rise.

Time Outdoors

Spend time in nature and natural sunlight, ideally before you start with screens, to enhance your mood and mental health. Take our morning and evening routine course to learn more about the reasons why and how you can start to build these habits.

Taking good care of your physical health will have a positive impact on your mental health. The two are interconnected. Regular exercise is well established to boost mental wellbeing by supporting healthy brain chemistry, reducing stress, and improving self-esteem and cognition.

Relationships

The Power of Connection

Relationships form the social backbone of human existence. We evolved to rely on them for our survival and that's why our hardwiring craves them still today. They are essential not just for personal growth but for finding joy and purpose in life. Our connections with others can bring immense happiness and provide a buffer against the trials of life. Good relationships allow both parties to learn and grow.

One thing you can't make now is an old friend.

Where to Start with Relationships?

Take stock

Everyone's network of relationships will naturally be very different. Review your friends, family and romantic relationships as a starting point. Reflect on which relationships are positive and matter the most. What is within your control to ensure these remain healthy relationships? Are there any toxic people doing more harm than good? Perhaps they deserve a bit of distance.

Make new connections

Enhance your communication skills to deepen connections. Participate actively in what interests you. Here it's the easiest way to meet like-minded people. Enjoy running, join a running club, they are essentially social clubs masquerading as fitness clubs anyway.

Like chess? Join a chess club. Don't let self-doubt or insecurities stop you. With discomfort comes growth and reward.

Appreciation

Regularly express gratitude and appreciation to strengthen bonds. When you think of someone that's usually a prompt to make contact, let them know you're thinking of them. This is a great way to keep in touch with people.

Help others

So much of the research shows one of the best ways to boost happiness is to go out of your way to help others. Research by Aknin, Norton and Dunn found that people who spent money on others reported higher levels of happiness than those who spent it on themselves.

Sometimes known as the 'helper's high', this can lead to significant increases in wellbeing, improved mental health, stronger social connections, and even longer life expectancy, showing the interplay between the pillars.

From an evolutionary perspective, helping others may have developed because it strengthens group cohesion and improves the survival chances of the community. This reciprocal altruism, where one individual helps another, expecting that the favour will be returned in the future, enhances trust and cooperation within groups, which is crucial for survival in a historically hostile environment.

This behaviour can also be seen in animals like vampire bats that share their feed with bats that were unsuccessful in their hunt. Interestingly those who took the offer and then refused to share in future were remembered and shunned from further sharing.

Our brains have evolved to derive satisfaction from aiding others, embedding these behaviours as rewarding making altruism integral to human nature.

Wealth

Wealth isn't merely financial. True wealth is the ability to find satisfaction in the present moment and to be content with what one has, in balance with using goals to pursue growth.

Contentment in the present is a form of emotional and psychological wealth that far surpasses the mere accumulation of material gains.

That's not to say more money doesn't make you happier. When used in the right way it could. If the accumulation of money is at the cost of the other pillars it could end up with a net negative. Instead, use money to invest in the other pillars and into experiences. Think about your bank balance in terms of experiences accumulated and potential experiences alongside the numbers on the screen.

Starting Points for Wealth?

Forecast

Understand what experiences you want to have in your life. Making a bucket list and creating a vision for your ideal life 5 years from now is a great place to start. Take our goal-setting guide for this here.

Once you understand what you want, you can reverse engineer how much money you will need for this. This will stop you from chasing money just for the sake of it and will show you what you might need to work towards so you can analyse if the sacrifices are worth it.

Budgeting

Begin by understanding where your money goes. Create a budget that aligns with your values. Make it your mission to either reduce outgoings or increase incomings so that you can reach a place where you don't have money worries. Peace of mind is one thing money can buy. It empowers you to make choices that can enrich your life, reducing stress and enabling you to invest in experiences and the other pillars that bring genuine happiness.

Savings Goals

Set achievable savings goals to provide a financial buffer and peace of mind.

Mindful Spending

Focus on spending that brings long-term satisfaction. Quality experiences, time with friends and family and helping others are likely top candidates.

Freedom

Having solid foundations with the other pillars will allow the pursuit of freedom which represents our ability to choose our path, how we live, where we work, and what we pursue. Freedom shapes our ability to mould our lives in ways that align with our deepest values and aspirations. Being very clear on what you want and what you are designing for will help avoid the trap of too much freedom.

Starting Points for Freedom

Self-Reflection

Regularly assess your personal and professional life to ensure they reflect your true desires. Journaling is your best friend here.

Be yourself

Don't worry this isn't about to go into cringy dating advice. Freedom to be yourself is important though. Achieving great things and making new friends by pretending to be something else is a recipe for meaningless outcomes. Acting your way there will feel empty, almost like someone else achieved the thing. Instead, bring your brilliant uniqueness to the situation and be the best version of yourself, not someone else.

Pursue Passions

Dedicate time to hobbies and interests that make you feel alive and fulfilled. Design for autonomy that gives you the chance to learn and grow and pursue what's most important to you as you go through the seasons of your life.

Empirical Backing

Research consistently supports that autonomy, a core component of freedom, is strongly linked to higher wellbeing and life satisfaction. This autonomy allows individuals to live authentically and make choices that resonate with their true selves.

Weaving Together the Pillars

This post has looked at how we can build more consistent, long-term happiness, but it's worth naming a common trap: the idea that once we solve X, we will be happy all the time. Life has natural peaks and troughs. This approach is about creating systems that raise your baseline and allow you to return to it quicker.

Each of these pillars supports and enhances the others. None can run in isolation. This is written as a funnel, starting with what tends to have the biggest impact first. It's the approach worth taking with a blank canvas, or a life where all pillars need some attention. Reflect on your own pillars and ask yourself which needs the most attention, then create a logical plan to improve your baseline happiness.

Next time you don't feel quite right, like you're slipping into a negative spiral, you can use these pillars to run a diagnostic and get yourself back on track.

The vast majority of life's problems can be helped by a good night's sleep, a proper workout and a conversation with a friend.

By nurturing each aspect, health, wealth, relationships, and freedom, you create a reinforcing cycle of positive feedback that elevates your life's quality and raises your baseline level of happiness and sense of fulfilment.

There is no silver bullet for this stuff. Life is complicated and hard. These four pillars are interconnected and reinforcing. By improving one, you often uplift the others. Start today by choosing one area to enhance, and let the positive changes unfold. The journey to happiness is ongoing, and every small step counts towards building a fulfilling life.

For the full breakdown of what each pillar means and where the framework comes from, see our Four Pillars of Happiness page.

We talk a lot about freedom being fundamental for happiness. Without it, it can be difficult to imagine long-lasting happiness. But is there such a thing as too much freedom? To the extent, it ends up with negative outcomes. 

Humans did not evolve in environments laden with choice. Instead of a seemingly unlimited supply of would be suitors on a dating app they had those 20 or 30 people in their tribe or village. Nowadays when looking for, well almost anything it can become overwhelming because of the sheer amount of choices you’re presented with. 

You would think that more choice means we can choose just the right movie for our exact mood, we can pick something that matches our feel good Sunday evening vibe. But then you spend 40 minutes searching and then another 1 hour and 30 minutes wishing you had picked something with Tom Hanks. You go to make a peanut butter and jam crumpet because you’re reluctant to become completely Americanised. Only to be presented with 24 different types of jam in your local supermarket. Here you feel dejected do you go gooseberry, kiwi, plum?!?! Or just bail entirely and resort to a claggy crumpet. 

Well, researchers looked at this exact scenario, more or less, in a study that was the first to point out the adverse effects of choice which went on to create an entire of research and be cited nearly 6,000 times at the time of writing. 

The Jam Experiment. Shoppers at an upscale grocery store encountered two different tasting booths: one offered a selection of 6 different jams, while the other presented 24 varieties. Intriguingly, although the larger display attracted more initial interest, it was the smaller selection that led to more purchases—30% of those who sampled from the 6-jam booth bought a jar, compared to only 3% from the 24-jam booth. This study illustrates how offering fewer choices can actually help guide decision-making suggesting that more options may lead to decision paralysis rather than liberation.

“The culture of abundance robs us of satisfaction” - Barry Schwartz 

This particularly resonated with me. I think it's so easy to have FOMO with the options we are presented with and also fall into a trap of regretting the path not taken because unfortunately we cannot A/B test life and we would never know what the other fork in the road would have led to. This ‘What if’ sensation could be robbing us of joy and satisfaction according to the research and Barry himself. 

There is a tension here because optimising for freedom we are told should lead to happiness. You have the choice of how you spend your time, how you earn your money, and where you live. Which, I think on a macro level all massively contribute to your overall sense of happiness because of the interplay with the other three fundamental pillars of happiness, health, wealth and relationships. 

What is needed is a system to ensure that when you’ve successfully optimised for freedom and you have more to choose from, you’re not overwhelmed. Journaling is ours. What’s yours?